Cartoonist Robert Crumb's best known character, Mr. Natural, was a cosmic con man, a spouter of acid-overdose aphorisms, a bearded pervert: perhaps the perfect spokesman for the latest wine trend to foam out the bunghole of a diseased barrel and cover the Internet. You've heard of organic wines, sulfite free wines, and biodynamic wines, so you're ready for "Natural" wine. Right?
To review: "Organic" wine regulations vary by nation, but generally mean no added sulfur in the winery. Because of this, the wines don't last long as a rule; while a small amount of added sulfur was allowed under the original definition, now the US limit is 10 parts per million, a fraction of what's in yogurt and dried fruit. "Biodynamic" means burying a cow horn full of magic crystals in the vineyard, and paying a license fee to a mercenary organization that follows the ravings of a dead Nazi lunatic.
"Natural wine" means all, some, or none of the above, but it does suggest that anyone making wine who doesn't use this term is making "unnatural" wine: Monsanto Merlot, not to be consumed by those not wearing a tinfoil hat.
Might I suggest as the next buzz term "Raw" wine, meaning wine that was never cooked - never left in a hot UPS truck for three hours, or in a warm kitchen for three days. Or it could mean grape juice, to which you are welcome to add pure, organic ethanol.
Whatever.
"Natural wine" means all, some, or none of the above, but it does suggest that anyone making wine who doesn't use this term is making "unnatural" wine: Monsanto Merlot, not to be consumed by those not wearing a tinfoil hat.
Might I suggest as the next buzz term "Raw" wine, meaning wine that was never cooked - never left in a hot UPS truck for three hours, or in a warm kitchen for three days. Or it could mean grape juice, to which you are welcome to add pure, organic ethanol.
Whatever.
